LET GO OF BLAME & FIND TRUE CENTER
When we are in a partnership (couple, friendship, family, business -any important relationship) with someone, it is so easy to blame them for doing things the "wrong" way when they do not do as we wish.
Looking deeply, through the spiritual lens of life - we see that our partnership is representative- a real life, illustration of an inner relationship between our masculine and feminine spirit.
We all have this relationship, or polarity inside of ourselves.
It has been said (I think by my dear great uncle James Hillman- somebody remind me please) that this polarity , or duality was created in order for our boundless spirit to dwell on this Earth - because of its intensity, and high vibration, it had to split to materialize within the constraints of gravity and other natural laws of this Planet .
We might notice that our partner is not connecting to us in the way we would hope. When we look deeply, and remember this person as a projection or mirage (and yet they are still a person!!) of the anima or animus inside of us, we can see more clearly, that it is the relationship inside of us that is having issues and needs resolving first and foremost, regardless if we choose to stay in or leave a sacred partnership.
This is no easy task: Most patterns and confusion of what masculine and feminine are, become misrepresented at a very young age--
by society, our own mis-representations coming from hurt in relationships within our own family, friends, school, etc.
Maybe you saw your brother
....stomp on an ant::: and then you started thinking that guys were out of control and will just never "get it"---or "I don't want to be like a boy, they are stupid"
---or maybe your mom frequently said you were doing things not the right way, so you developed an unconscious thought pattern that might vibrate something like : "women are controlling and don't know how to give space"--or, "my nurturing feminine spirit will just never get it right"
Because we, as children are like sponges- at such a young age, we are constantly internalizing our environment- which is a survival and learning mechanism that is fabulous when there are healthy interactions in our environment.
Furthermore, there are belief systems- which is what Jung called the "collective unconscious" that whole societies or countries hold to be true. In many cases, these are just stories that we have told ourselves at such a young age about the world, that we have the same with many, thousands of people. Some might say that a president is a representation or the conglomeration of that.
By no fault of our little absorbing selves did these form, but where the problem occurs is when we do not stop and reflect. When we don't stop and look our thoughts in the face:
Such as :
"hello (in-congruent) thought- when did you jump on board?"
It is super important to continually question "reality";
Question our Thoughts, our belief systems.
The blaming might feel good in the moment (feuf! It's not my problem to deal with!)-- but it does not bring you to a higher state of being- it does not evolve you and awaken you.
I might be so bold to say that It is denial and negligence of your own psyche, spirit or soul.
Now, you might ask,
"so are you saying I should stay in an abusive or disrespectful relationship because it's really me?"
I am not saying to take any s#$% from anybody that is not supporting your highest good.
What I am saying is, to take a moment, and look inside of yourself: If you are not willing to put up with it from someone else : Why would you tolerate doing it internally ?
Our internal world is very sensitive, whether some would like to listen to it or not. Some of the most angry and "hard headed" people on the planet are like oysters inside, but they act from their misled thoughts instead of their inner, vulnerable heart, or truth.
Does your outgoing animus treat your more inward, anima spirit respectfully? Does he protect her and keep her safe?
Do they even know how to communicate?
(examples of Animus: gathering, healing, nurturing, incubation of creative endeavors)
Does your feminine side trust and fully support your masculine side in his endeavors, or does she tell him he is useless and will never get it right?
(examples of Anima: writing, setting forth projects and creation into the world, taking bold action)
A lot of us are running around one sided- completely ignoring a certain divine masculine or feminine energy inside of us.
(Careful not to be fooled by the exterior "gender"). Some women are run by their masculine at about 90%, and shame their feminine. Some men are running on 90% feminine and don't trust their masculine! And vise-versa- So many combinations and it is truly a spectrum, one that we must journey upon until we find our true center, or balanced, highest Self.
This center can only be found through the unraveling of pre-existing thought patterns.
So go on, sit, dance, walk, just be - and remember that you are so much more than you